My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
