i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
