Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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