dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
