im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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