Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
