grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
