Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
