You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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