she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
