ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize