if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
