You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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