Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I deserve this hangover.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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