the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
