the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
