Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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