I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
