does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
