Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
