the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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