and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
