i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
