I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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