She is in my trunk
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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