I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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