White coat. Heels.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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