Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
