We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
