do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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