youre lurking in front of me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
