hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
