Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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