sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
