I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
