i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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