hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
