Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i believe in u and ur pee
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
