i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
