my vag is so smooth its legendary
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
