Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She is in my trunk
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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