I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
