Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
