Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize