ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
