doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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