i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
