I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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