All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
