I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
