It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He better not be in your backpack
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
