I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
