Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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