I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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