I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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