I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize