I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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